Cooking in the West

 

October 8, 2021



Every time I read a Baxter Black poem, I am inspired to become a cowboy poet, but "The Cremation of Sam McGee" by Robert Service is my favorite inspirational poem. It was his signature poem that launched his career. He got the idea from a story he heard while attending a party. He left the party, walked around in the woods all night composing the poem in his mind, and then sat down to pen it the next day. This poem is no "Sam McGee", and I am no Baxter Black, but when my favorite packers at the K Lazy Three told me this story I decided it demanded to be set to rhyme!

Scattering Bill:

Twenty years before, Bill had decided that when the Reaper he came with face to face

That near a mountain lake in the Scapegoat Wilderness in Montana would be the place

He would like to have his last remains scattered--somewhere touched by God.

And somehow to his loving family, Bill's last request did not seem all that odd.

When Bill passed on this year, his last wishes were set to be carried out.

However, the logistics of such an undertaking proved a bit difficult no doubt.

Some way to transport Bill's ashes into the Scapegoat had to be found.

An outfitter with a pack mule seemed to be the best solution around.

The crew of the K Lazy Three was called upon to carry out Bill's request.

So they headed to the trail head with a mule they believed was their best.

The packers joked that it would also be their final wish to be cremated and strewn

Around various favorite peaks by the bucking action of a waspy mule at high noon.

The family arrived with old Bill in an urn and then headed out for the final destination.

Leaving the packers behind to deal with an unexpectedly difficult packing situation.

Bill's receptacle had to be fortified with duct tape, the packer's best friend,

And then it had to be cushioned inside a pack box, so the rattles would end.

They taped, and cushioned, and packed a picture perfect mantee to throw on old Gus,

But somehow Gus must have suspected there was a ghastly reason for all of this fuss.

He stood braced for the load that was suspiciously light and smelled rather odd.

When he moved off, he sniffed and snorted and commenced to churn up the sod.

The gentle mule pitched and bucked and even sun-fished till the precious load rolled.

Poor old Bill's last remains had a heck of a ride on the underside of a mule I am told.

The packers feared to look inside the pack box to see if there had been any leakage.

They decided it would be best for their mental health to avoid any premature "peekage."

Gus didn't resemble the egg packing mule that day that he ordinarily was.

Was it that he subconsciously knew his load was deceased--or just because?

Nevertheless, old Bill took not one but three wild rides along the way.

It's a cinch that the K Lazy Three crew felt great trepidation that day.

They feared that the duct tape had been inefficient and that they couldn't trust

That when they finally looked inside the pack box it wouldn't be littered with dust.

Alas all is well that ends well, because when they finally pulled Gus's load,

Bill's family couldn't tell that his last journey had been down a bumpy road.

Once back at the trailhead, the crew drank a toast to Bill's last request.

"When we cash in, skip the waspy mule ride--just bury us facing west!"

I have favorite family recipes to share this week. I would like to thank my cousin, Vickie Goodwin of Lavina, Montana for sending me a couple family recipes. The first recipe is one that my Grandma Rose Bohlman made every Christmas, and the second one Vickie acquired from her sister Patti Lang, who lives in Musselshell, Montana. The last recipe I have run before, but it is so easy and foolproof that you can make mountains of wonderful fudge in no time with it!

Grandma Bohlman's Cornflake Candy:

6 C. corn flakes

1 C. peanuts

1 C. coconut

1 C. sugar

1 C. corn syrup

1 C. whipping cream

Cook sugar, corn syrup, and whipping cream to the soft ball stage. Pour over the first three ingredients. Mix well, and press into a buttered 9 x 13 pan.

Patti Lang's Microwave Caramel Corn:

16 C. popped corn

brown grocery bag

In 2 quart bowl, mix:

1 C. brown sugar

1/4 C. light corn syrup

1/2 t. salt

1 stick margarine

Microwave sugar mixture for 90 seconds. Stir. Microwave for 3 more minutes. Stir well and stir in 1/2 t. baking soda. Pour over popped corn in the grocery bag. Shake well. Microwave 1 minute. Shake well. Microwave 1 more minute. Shake well. Microwave 30 seconds. Shake well. Microwave 30 seconds. Shake well. Dump out of the bag, and it is ready to serve!

Microwave Foolproof Five-Minute Fudge:

18 oz. milk chocolate chips

1 can sweetened condensed milk

2 t. vanilla

1 C. chopped nuts or other add-ins as desired such as mini marshmallows, etc.

Microwave chips and milk for 90 seconds or until chips are melted - be careful NOT to scorch the chips. Stir well and stir in vanilla and nuts or add-ins. Pour into a greased 8 x 8 pan. Cool until firm and cut into chunks. You can use other chips such as semi-sweet, mint, etc., although melting time will vary a bit. Melting time is also dependent upon your microwave wattage. Double the recipe for a 9 x 13 batch.

 

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