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With Thanksgiving in the rear view mirror, I have theorized that apparently the clothes dryer has been shrinking my jeans. It could not be my penchant for eggnog and Christmas cookies, so it must be the dryer. The realization that my diet should include more salad than fudge somehow got me thinking about poor Santa and his obligation to eat all of those Christmas cookies. I wrote this little Christmas rhyme about Santa trying to fight the bulge with the Keto Diet.

Special Bulletin From Santa

—by Susan Metcalf

'Twas the month before Christmas, and Santa was in a snit.

He had tried on his b...