Cooking in the West
February 24, 2023
This year for the first time in 41 years, I will not be a participant in inducing trauma in children. Since I have retired as an educator, I will not be involved in the spelling bee. All across the country, kids are being traumatized not by cyber bullying or the Pythagorean theorem, but for another reason--they are good spellers. Yes, in preparation for the National Spelling Bee in Washington, D.C. in June, almost every county in every state is hosting a chamber of horrors for their best and brightest.
Most adults have a tale of woe to tell about their own spelling bee experiences. My most vivid spelling bee memory happened when I was in fifth grade. The school bee was a terrifying experience held in the gym in Augusta, Montana. There were probably a total of 50 spectators in attendance if we count the janitor, but to me it may as well have been a stadium full of 10,000 eyes bored into me as I quaked on that stage. I had survived a couple rounds when I received the word “holiday,” which of course I spelled “holliday” because I have relatives named Holliday. I had no idea why the little annoying buzzer sounded, because I knew I had spelled it correctly. That humiliating experience was surpassed three years later when I was in eighth grade. My sister, who was a fifth grader, won the school bee long after I had gone out of the bee in the first round.
In fact, my sister Jane was such a good speller that we planned our family vacation around the state spelling bee each year. At that time, the state bee was held in a different venue each year, so we vacationed in Missoula, Helena, Butte, and Billings during her four year tenure as the spelling bee queen of Augusta Elementary and Melstone Elementary School. We lived way out in the sticks, so getting to spend a weekend eating in restaurants, staying in motels, and going to a movie and a shopping mall was an exciting excursion for us each spring.
I became her biggest fan in her sixth grade state bee during the fourth round. Most of the words had been words like “vigor” and “employee.” Her word was “Chateaubriand,” and she calmly spelled it just like we had it for dinner every night. It was so amazing that the spectators erupted into applause and even a few hoots, which is pretty much unacceptable protocol at a spelling bee. For some reason, every time we are sitting around reminiscing about winning three point shots, 80 yard touchdowns, etc., and I break out the “Chateaubriand” story, no one seems to appreciate the excitement of that moment. I guess it was one of those times when you had to be there?
As a junior high English teacher, I was in charge of conducting the classroom bees for all four junior high classrooms. Those bees would determine which two students would represent each classroom at the county bee. In my rookie years, I forced several students to be in the county bee even though they did not want to do it. Usually they just panicked and went out in the first round or two. I will never forget one student, however, who taught me not to wear suede shoes on spelling bee day. She came down off the stage before the bee started to tell me that she really didn’t want to be in the bee, and that she thought she was going to be sick. About 1/3 of the way through my inspirational/motivational speech about how participating in the spelling bee would make her stronger and how she would be glad that she had done it, she threw up all over my shoes. I distinctly remember that we had corn dogs for lunch that day. I never again insisted that a classroom winner participate in the bee, and I always wear washable shoes on bee day now just in case.
One of the most powerful poems I shared with my junior high students was “Forgive My Guilt” by Robert Coffin. It is about a boy who wounds two plovers with his brand new rifle. The last line is “But I have hoped for years all that is wild, airy, and beautiful will forgive my guilt.” Every year when I taught Coffin’s poem, it served to remind me to be a responsible hunter, but mostly to never again coerce students to be in the spelling bee, and I hope somehow those students can find it in their hearts to forgive me!
When I became the county spelling bee coordinator a few years into my career, I decided to try to make the spelling bee experience less painful. I started off with just a big pep talk about how spelling bees involve a lot of luck. I shared the “Chateaubriand” story, and they actually seemed to appreciate it. I begged them not to cry when they spell down, but I passed out Kleenex anyway. I told them that one of them would have to be the first person to spell down, and I passed out more Kleenex.
From my position at the judge’s table, I can observe the spellers. Half of them are so pale that I fear for my shoes. The other half are so flushed they are on the brink of hyperventilation. Even though many wish to ban prayer in schools, as long as there are spelling bees there will be prayer. Spelling bee audiences are so quiet that I can almost hear the spellers’ prayers. I surmise that some of them are praying that they won’t be the first to spell down, that they won’t cry, that their arch enemy will spell down before them, and that they won’t get the word “Chateaubriand” so they will win and go on to state.
I would like to share some salad recipes from one of my all-time favorite recipe books, “History Through Recipes,” which was published by the Hawk Creek Volunteer Fire Department many years ago in Musselshell, Montana.
Helen Hougen’s Orange Sherbet Jello Salad:
2 pkg. orange Jello
1 C. hot water
1 C. orange sherbet
1 C. whipped cream
1 can mandarin oranges, drained
2 C. bananas, diced
1 can crushed pineapple, drained
Dissolve Jello in hot water. Stir in sherbet. Let sit until syrupy. Add oranges, pineapple, bananas, and whipped cream. Chill until set.
Pat O’Brien’s Chicken Salad:
2 C. chicken, chopped
1 C. pineapple chunks
1 C. celery, chopped
1 C. green grapes, halved
1 small pkg. almond slices
1/2 C. mayonnaise
1 T. lemon juice
Season to taste
Mix all ingredients and serve on lettuce leaves.
Joanie Rettig’s Broccoli Salad:
1 bunch broccoli
1 C. raisins
1 pkg. sunflower nuts
1/4 C. red onions, chopped
4 strips bacon, fried and crumbled
2/3 C. mayonnaise or creamy cucumber dressing
4 T. sugar
1 T. vinegar
Chop broccoli in pretty small pieces, stalk and all. Add raisins, nuts, onions, and bacon. Mix dressing, sugar, and vinegar, and stir all together.
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