Cooking in the West

“Is your mom ok?” our Crazy Peak Boutique employee, Larissa, asked my daughter, Brooke, last Wednesday morning.

“Define ok,” Brooke replied. In her defense, Brooke has lived almost 38 years of her life realizing that her mom is not exactly normal. “Why do you ask?” Brooke laughed.

“Well, customers are asking about her and some incident that happened at the Family Dollar, and I am not sure how to answer. She was gone yesterday, so I don’t know if something happened to her,” Larissa continued.

“Oh, she is fine, but that’s a small town rumor for you!” Brooke chuckled. Upon further investigation, she found that quite a story was circulating about how her mother had been robbed at the Family Dollar and got beat up by the robber.

In reality, the story was not very exciting. I had gone to the Family Dollar to buy supplies for preconditioning calves the next day. I had thrown my billfold into my cart like I always did but will never do again. My grandson Jasper was with me, and he wanted me to buy him a beach ball, so I was distracted by Jasper and the bargains at the end of the first aisle, and I did not notice a “gentleman” (I use that term rather loosely) take my cart and head down the next aisle. I remember turning back and thinking to myself, “Didn’t I have a cart?” Living constantly on the brink of senility, I just chalked it up to another senior moment, grabbed another cart, and proceeded to fill it.

It was not until I got to the checkout counter that I realized my wallet was not in the cart. I pulled my cart off to the side and explained to the cashier that I think someone had taken my cart with my wallet in it. Just in case I had lost it completely, I raced out to my car to make sure I had taken my wallet into the store with me. Finding no wallet, I instructed both grandkids to check the car really well, and I headed in to check everyone’s cart in the check-out area. None of the carts had my wallet in it.

The cashiers at the Family Dollar are superb at customer service. They quickly realized something was very wrong, and they sprang into action. In just minutes, they had checked the video, which showed the :”gentleman” who took my cart wheeling it away with furtive glances towards the video cameras. They also identified the “gentleman” and called the sheriff’s office within just a few minutes, but the “gentleman” had checked out and left the store.

As I waited for what seemed like forever for an officer to show up, a lot of people watched what I now realize must have looked like a very curious situation. A few customers asked what was going on, so I told them, but obviously the rest drew their own conclusions. I realize now that I probably did look like the victim of a violent crime or perhaps a drunken shoplifter. I could not check out, because I had no money, so I had to wait by my cart by the front door for the officers to arrive. To my horror, I realized that my cart was mostly full of beer for pre-conditioning the next day, and then as fate would have it my nose began to bleed profusely.

Blood was running down my arm and dripping on the floor when it occurred to me that I looked like an alcoholic with the cops on the way. Just when I was considering trying to put the beer back in the cooler, four officers showed up. They began asking me questions while I continued bleeding and worrying that the “gentleman” was out spending my cash and running up my credit cards.

The story has a happy ending. The amazing Family Dollar employees checked the video, traced the “gentleman’s” route, and found my billfold stashed in the candy aisle. All of the cards and cash were there, so we all decided there was no harm nor foul. I gathered up my cart of shame, checked out, and tried to forget the whole incident.

Two days later, the story had grown into an urban legend. I began receiving calls from friends checking on my welfare after my violent mugging at the Family Dollar. I think Miranda Lambert nailed it with her song, “Everybody Dies Famous in a Small Town!”

I have autumn recipes this week from Nancy Bruce of Big Timber, Montana, Thanks, Nancy!

Nancy’s Pumpkin Cheesecake Dessert:

32 gingersnap cookies, crushed (about 1 1/2 C.)

1/4 C. butter, melted

5 pkg. (8 oz. each) cream cheese, softened

1 C. sugar

15 oz. can solid-pack pumpkin

1 t. ground cinnamon

1 t. vanilla

5 eggs, lightly beaten

dash ground nutmeg

maple syrup

Combine cookie crumbs and butter. Press into a 9 X 13 pan. Set aside. Beat cream cheese and sugar until smooth. Beat in pumpkin, cinnamon, and vanilla. Add eggs, beat on low speed just until combined. Pour over the crust. Sprinkle with nutmeg. Bake at 350 degrees for 40 to 45 minutes or until the center is almost set. Refrigerate overnight. Cut into squares and serve with syrup. Refrigerate leftovers.

Nancy’s Chunky Apple Cake:

1/2 C. butter, softened

2 C. sugar

1/2 t. vanilla

2 eggs

2 C. flour

1 1/2 t. cinnamon

1 t. nutmeg

1/2 t. salt

1/2 t. baking soda

6 C. chopped peeled tart apples

Butterscotch sauce:

1/2 C. packed brown sugar

1/4 C. butter, cubed

1/2 C. heavy whipping cream

Cream butter, sugar, and vanilla. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Combine the flour, cinnamon, nutmeg, salt, and baking soda. Gradually add to the creamed mixture and mix well. Batter will be stiff. Stir in apples until well combined. Spread in a greased 9 x 13 baking dish. Bake at 350 degrees for 40 to 45 minutes or until the top is lightly browned and springs back when touched. Cool for 30 minutes before serving. Meanwhile, combine butter and brown sugar. Cook over medium heat until butter melts. Gradually add cream. Bring to slow boil over medium heat, stirring constantly. Remove from heat and serve over cake.

Dessert Pizza:

1 tube refrigerated chocolate chip cookie dough

1 C. chocolate chips

1 C. peanut butter

1 1/2 C. coconut

15 small black jelly beans

5 gumdrops of each color

Soften cookie dough and press it onto a 12 inch pizza pan. Bake for 10 to 15 minutes. Cool. Cut gumdrops in half and flatten a little. In a microwave safe bowl, melt chips, stir until smooth, and spread over cookie crust. Microwave the peanut butter for about 1 minute and spread over chocolate. Sprinkle with coconut. Top with gumdrops and jelly beans.