Cooking in the West

The best part of writing a weekly column is that readers love to help me out. This week I have Bobcat/Grizzly jokes as the cross-state football rivalry looms this Saturday. I am sure you will be able to tell that the jokes were sorted by a Bobcat fan, but of course I will give equal time to Grizzly fans if they send me some great jokes.

Albert Einstein met a Bobcat alumnus at a party. He asked the Bobcat if he knew his IQ score. The Bobcat replied, “240.” Albert and the Bobcat had a great conversation about physics and thermodynamics and the Bobcats.

Later Albert mingled about the room. He asked another guest what his IQ score was. The man replied, “34.”

“How about those Grizzlies?” Albert muttered as he edged away.

Question: How do you get a UM graduate off your porch?

A: Pay him for the pizza.

Q: What is the only sign of intelligent life in Missoula?

A: The one that reads “Bozeman 201 miles.”

Q: What do average U of M students get on their SAT tests?

A: Drool.

Last year in the pregame show the UM coaching staff was asked, “Is it true that Coach Hauck plans to dress only 15 players for the Brawl of the Wild game today?” The assistant coach answered, “Yes. The rest of them have finally learned to dress themselves.”

A popular Grizzly football player was just 100 credits short of graduating his senior year. The university decided to grant him a degree anyway if he could pass an oral exam. In front of 25,000 fans in Washington Grizzly Stadium, the player was asked, “What is 2 plus 2?”

The Grizzly player thought for a few moments and said, “I believe that would be 4.”

With that the crowd jumped to their feet, shouting, “Give him another chance!”

A UM graduate was trying to put up a flagpole in front of his house, and he wanted to know how high it was. He had his wife hold the pole while he tried to extend his tape measure up the flagpole, but to no avail. An MSU graduate came along and suggested that the Grizzly put the flagpole on the ground and measure it. The Grizzly replied, “You dumb Bobcat! I want to know how high it is, not how long it is!”

If you are a Grizzly fan, I sincerely apologize... I’m sorry you’re a Grizzly! Just joking, of course - some of my best friends are Grizzlies, or at least they were before this column ran!

We are entering casserole season, so I would like to run a recipe that I have been asked for many times since I originally ran it. My thanks to Heather Jarrett of Big Timber, Montana for sharing the recipe for SOS (Soup or Sauce Mix) and the other recipes that utilize this economical and tasty replacement for canned soups.

SOS (Soup or Sauce Mix):

2 C. powdered non-fat dry milk

3/4 C. cornstarch

1/4 C. instant chicken bouillon

2 T dried onion flakes

2 t. Italian Seasoning

Combine all ingredients in a resealable plastic bag, mixing well. This yields 9 cans of cream soup. To substitute for a can of soup, combine 1/3 C. of the dry mix with 1 1/4 C. cold water. Cook and stir on stove top or in the microwave until thickened. Add thickened mixture to casseroles as you would a can of soup. Store in an airtight container. Does not require refrigeration.

Broccoli Cheese Soup:

1/3 C. SOS

1 1/4 C. cold water

1/3 C. fresh or frozen broccoli

1 C. cheese, grated

Combine SOS mix with broccoli and water. Cook and stir on stove top or in the microwave until thickened. Add grated cheese and mix well until blended.

Chicken Pot Pie:

1/3 C. SOS

1 1/4 C. cold water

1 C. cooked chicken, cubed

1 pkg. frozen mixed vegetables

Biscuit topping:

1 egg

1/2 C. milk

1 C. Bisquick baking mix

Combine SOS with water. Cook and stir on the stove or in the microwave until thickened. In a 9 inch pie plate, combine sauce, vegetables, and chicken. Combine biscuit topping ingredients and pour over chicken mixture. Bake at 400 degrees for 30 minutes or until golden brown.