Several years ago I discovered a hilarious self-published book from Maralee Robinson of Billings, Montana. It is called "East Meets West: Real Dude Meets Real Cowboy: Indoor Plumbing Meets Outdoor Plumbing, and All the Things They Have in Common." The book is a collection of reflections of a city girl who married a cowboy. The book was somewhat longer than the title, and it was so funny I couldn't put it down. Maralee dedicated the book to her cowboy husband, their children, any woman married to a cowboy, or any woman married to a man.
Branding season is in full swing, so I want to share one branding story from Maralee.
"A Branding We Will Go"
On the first day, the cowboys are all up by 4:00 A.M. buzzing around getting horses and gear and propane ready to go. Pickups and horse trailers are flying in every direction. They're filling water containers and rounding up everything from wash basins to hobbles. Orders are given, sketchy maps drawn, and I am supposed to be ready to haul out the meal and reach the branders by noon.
I roast beef and bake pies. I mash potatoes and mix vegetables. Then I box beef and bag pies and load vegetables. I fill water jugs with iced tea and lemonade and round up paper plates, paper cups, plasticware, tablecloths, paper towels, garbage bags, and I am ready to go.
I get my hat, map, Kleenex, chapstick, sunblock, sunglasses, and I'm off. I race along like I know where I'm going. Ten minutes into it, I begin to wonder. Thirty minutes into it, I know I'm lost. I retrace my tracks. I'm okay to the first gate, so I follow the fence around the hill, across the "flat" to the corner post.
Then I spot the reservoir to my left. (That must be east-right?) Past it to the prairie dog town, through it to the faint road that's hard to see. Follow it until I see the dust from the portable corral, then cut across, and park up-wind. Miss the cactus, set up, and wait for the branders to wash up and wander over.
"There better well be enough 'cause we're hungry and thirsty! We've been ridin' and ropin', and the dust is chokin', and the smoke is stingin' our eyes! The blood is spurtin', and the cows are all mooin', but this is BRANDIN," and this is our LIFE, and we're real hungry!"
Then there are the times I'm sitting by the side of the road waiting. A horse and rider appear. "Ya lost?"
"No, I like to come out here and sit in the middle of nowhere in this 105 degree heat and bite my nails with a pickup load of groceries I just spent all morning fixing! Oh well, I need to lose five pounds anyway!"
By the third day, things are getting going a little later, and by the fifth morning, 7:00 seems a little early.
Branding-It would seem like after 20 years of this, the women would know exactly where they are going, but the directions go something like this: "Remember 5 years ago-you went east across that creek and south over that dike, and you came within a mile of camp, but ya didn't go to it! Ya kept goin till ya hit the trees straight west over that knoll till ya spotted us brandin' along the road? Well, now, ya need to do that same thing, but go another five miles or so beyond that, and ya should see us off yonder to the north. There ain't no road leadin' out there, but there should be some faint trailer tracks or just set out across the prairie, but don't fall off into the creek bottom and don't hang up on any rocks. Miss as much sagebrush as ya can-and cactus too. WE DON'T NEED ANY FLAT TIRES! You're sure to make it okay, 'cuz ya been there before or purty close to it, anyway!"
The best part about writing this column is digging through the treasures readers have sent me over the last 29 years since I started writing this column in 1995. I unearthed a beautiful cookbook entitled "Whitlash Receipt Roundup" from the Whitlash Ladies Club of Whitlash, Montana. It is a fabulous collection of the community's best recipes. Perhaps you can still order it by writing to the club at 807 Gold Butte Road, Whitlash, MT 59545. Thanks, Whitlash Ladies!
Blueberry French Toast Breakfast Cobbler
(Submitted by Robin Rhodes)
16 oz. pkg. frozen blueberries
1/4 C. pure maple syrup
1/2 C. sugar
1 T. cornstarch
4 eggs or 1 C. egg substitute
2/3 C. milk
1 t. vanilla extract
16 oz. loaf French bread
Spray a 9 X 13 casserole. Pour frozen blueberries into dish. Stir in syrup, sugar, and cornstarch. Whisk eggs, milk, and vanilla together. Cut crust off bread and slice into 3/4 inch slices. Place on top of blueberries and pour egg mixture over bread. Bake immediately or refrigerate overnight. Bake in upper third of 375 degree oven. Bake uncovered for 35 to 40 minutes or until berries are bubbling and toast is lightly browned. Remove toast to serving plates and spoon blueberries over top. Serve with additional syrup.
Sour Cream 'N Dill Chicken
(Submitted by Gloria Fey)
8 to 10 pieces chicken, skinned
pepper to taste
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 env. dry onion soup mix
8 oz. sour cream
1 T. lemon juice
1 T. chopped fresh dill or 1 t. dried dill weed
4 oz. can sliced mushrooms, drained
paprika
cooked wide noodles, optional
Place chicken in a single layer in a 9 X 13 baking pan. Sprinkle with pepper. Combine soup, soup mix, sour cream, lemon juice, dill, and mushrooms. Pour over chicken. Sprinkle with paprika. Bake uncovered at 350 degrees for one hour or until chicken is tender. Serve over egg noodles if desired. Makes 4 to 6 servings.
Hedge Hogs
(Submitted by Val Stratton)
1 lb. hamburger
1/4 C. raw rice
1 egg, beaten
1 T. parsley
2 T. onion, chopped
1/2 t. salt
1 dash pepper
1 can mushroom soup
1/2 C. water
1/2 t. sage
Combine hamburger, rice, egg, parsley, onion, salt, and pepper. Mix in 1/2 C. soup. Shape into balls. Place in pan. Mix remaining soup, water, and sage. Pour over meatballs. Bake in a 350 degree oven for one hour.
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