Cooking in the West

As I come to the realization that I am playing in the fourth quarter, my perspective on life has become more retrospective. I am rather baffled by the speed at which I arrived in the fourth quarter, and I am determined not to sit it out on the bench. In fact, as a person who spent many years in the adventure vacation business, I loved the movie, The Bucket List. It was an inspiration to many of our older guests to get out of the recliner, climb mountains, ride horses, shoot elk, or go trout fishing, and we were happy that they trusted us to provide that experience.

I remember one elk hunt that I cooked for in the Scapegoat Wilderness for the Todd’s K Lazy 3 where the average age of the hunters was well over 65. That presented quite a challenge for the guides AND the cook!

When I pulled up to the trail head, I had to wait for one of the hunters to cross the road. He was literally dragging one leg. Usually the hunters are not dragging a leg until at least the second day. As I met the hunters, I couldn’t concentrate on remembering their names, because thoughts were going through my mind such as, “Did he stop at an Assisted Living instead of the airport to pick up these hunters? I hope we have a lot of soft food. How in the world are these guys going to get an elk?”

Halfway to camp, we stopped for lunch. It took several minutes for all of them to mobilize their knees, regain circulation, wriggle and slide off their horses, and try to walk the kinks out of their legs. Lunch was accompanied by a lot of Ibuprofen and some sharing of pain relievers. After the pain relievers kicked in, we headed on to camp. It is a good thing it is downhill from the corral to the sleeping tents, so they all made it to their tents after a while.

The first dinner is usually filled with hunting stories, but this group compared notes on their health problems. Two were diabetic, one had suffered a stroke after booking the hunt, and two of them compared their number of bypasses and their open heart surgery experiences. One hunter was a 48 year old mountain climber who also shot competitively. Of course, each guide was praying that they would get to take him hunting tomorrow. The guides seemed a little off their feed, so I surmised they were worrying that their First Aid courses might not have been adequate preparation for this trip.

Outfitter Brett Todd has always joked that if a hunter felt a heart attack coming on, he should bend over a log. This would make him easier to pack out on a mule after rigor mortis set in. That advice did not seem as funny as it did practical at this moment.

I had my own problems, because there was not one sugar free anything in camp. In fact, everything in hunting camp is artery clogging and full of sugar to fuel the caloric requirements of a wilderness hunt.

Then the hunters began confessing that they were here because of the movie, The Bucket List. The general consensus was that this trip was on their bucket list, and if they didn’t make it back from this trip that would be ok. Somehow we staff members did not find a lot of comfort in that thought.

The second day was rainy, and sitting in the cook tent, I was feeling really sorry for the hunters out climbing over and under deadfall and becoming saturated wading through saplings. (In reality, most of them were sitting around a fire somewhere taking turns napping and watching bowls or avalanche slides.) Suddenly one hunter from Virginia burst through the cook tent flap. He said, “This is no country for old men!”

I choked back the impulse to say, “That would make a great title for a movie,” but I could see he was in no mood for humor. He was soaked to the skin, exhausted, and numb.

He said, “What day is the packer going out? I am going with him.” After he thawed out, he devoured some artery clogging refreshments, drank a pot of high octane cowboy coffee, took some prescription oxycodone, found dry clothes, and went fishing. He never asked about the packer’s schedule again.

Half of the camp shot an elk, which is an amazing credit to the guides. No one stayed in camp before they filled their tags, no one missed breakfast, and they lived it up with imported cigars and Grand Marnier after dinner each night. As they all gingerly eased off their horses at the trailhead at the end of the week, everyone sent up a prayer of thankfulness that no one had to use the log technique or experience insulin shock, but most importantly that they could all cross one more thing off their bucket list!

Over the years, hunters have sent me a lot of wild game recipes. Here are some of the more interesting ones from my collection.

Grilled Duck Breast:

duck breast filets

1 block cream cheese

fresh jalapeno peppers

hickory smoked bacon

Dale’s Marinade or Italian Dressing

Cut cream cheese into 1/2 inch slices across the width of the block. Quarter peppers lengthwise. Place a cream cheese slice and a pepper quarter into a duck breast filet. Roll up the filet and wrap with a piece of bacon. Hold the roll together with a toothpick. Marinate for 30 minutes if desired. Grill over medium heat for 7 minutes on each side or until medium rare. Do not overcook.

Wild Rabbit and Cabbage:

1 wild rabbit, cut up

1 1/2 heads cabbage

cooking oil

salt and pepper

Season rabbit. Put a small amount of oil to thinly cover the bottom of the pot. When grease is hot, add seasoned rabbit. Cover and roast 45 minutes to an hour, adding water as needed. Clean and slice cabbage. Add to the rabbit. Smother and cook until the rabbit is tender, adding water as needed. Season to taste.

Venison Cutlets:

8 to 10 venison cutlets

3 eggs

3 T, water

1 1/2 t. salt

1 t. Tony’s Creole Seasoning

1/2 t. black pepper

crumbs for breading

oil

Pound steaks with a mallet. Beat eggs with water and seasoning until frothy. Dip venison in egg mixture until completely covered. Dip in crumbs. Fry in hot oil until golden brown. Drain on paper towels and serve hot.