Cooking in the West

Technically, I am retired. Granted, I have a couple part-time jobs that occupy my leisure time, but every year I find myself in the same predicament as I look down the barrel of the Christmas gun. Every year, it is as though Christmas sneaks up on me out of the blue. So with just hours left before Christmas, I am in my usual pre-Christmas panic caused mostly by procrastination!

I made several batches of my favorite fudge, but I made them too early, and we have eaten or given it away already. No problem! All I have to do is go to bed 15 minutes later each night to whip up one batch per night until the 22nd. Cookies will be keeping me up really late, so I will schedule cookies for the night of the 23rd.

On a normal year, as the County Superintendent, I take in 5 Christmas programs and a band concert in the last week before Christmas. This year because of Covid, I have no Christmas programs or concerts on my calendar, so I have at least 18 hours of extra time. However, we open presents on Christmas Eve, which shortens my preparation time by at least twelve hours thus negating most of my lack of Covid concert bonus hours. Maybe we should consider opening presents on Christmas morning this year to give everyone a few extra hours to anticipate (and shop and wrap and bake)?

Since postponing the opening of presents isn't going to happen, I need to think of other ways to streamline the Christmas process. Gift bags come to mind. All I need is an assortment of bags, a bunch of tissue paper, and I will have eliminated the need for hours of wrapping. I will have to wrap presents for my children and grandchildren though, because peeking into a bag is not nearly as challenging as discreetly unwrapping and re-wrapping presents without getting caught. Half of the fun of Christmas is previewing the presents and then pretending to be surprised when they are unwrapped legally.

Unfortunately, calves weren't worth much this year, so the upper management on the ranch is feeling pretty frugal this year. Usually upper management thinks that if everyone gets a new pair of coveralls and some good gloves that is a great Christmas. Maybe this year he can take some of that CARES stimulus money we received and throw in a wild rag or at least a bandana that can double as a face mask when we go to town. Maybe we could really splurge and buy a Sharpie to "personalize" the bandanas with our brand.

Middle management on the ranch has asked Santa for a cowboy lounge. These lounges are very popular on ranches with wealthy absentee owners. When our middle management compares our "lounge" in the barn to the average cowboy lounge in the neighborhood, ours falls somewhat short. We have two folding camp chairs in the tack room, so everyone can lounge around the noisy little electric heater and stare at the oat bin. Cowboy lounges in our neighborhood have a kitchenette, a recliner, a couch, a fake fireplace, a sink, a toilet, a shower, and a flat screen television at the minimum. Perhaps the ranch manager will spring for a card table and a little dorm sized refrigerator if there is any of that CARES money left after the personalized bandana expenditure. However, one should never get his/her hopes up when it comes to getting gifts from ranchers.

In fact, I must relay a joke sent to me by Linda Story, who was one of those ranch managers with a really nice cowboy lounge that we have always envied. I suspect she thought I could relate to this story:

A rancher couple had been out Christmas shopping in the big city for most of the afternoon. Suddenly, the wife realized that her husband had "disappeared". The somewhat irate ranch wife called her husband's cell phone and demanded, "Where are you?"

The husband answered, "Well, you remember that jewelry shop where you saw the diamond necklace and totally fell in love with it. I didn't have the money at that time, but I said to you, 'Baby, it'll be yours one day!'"

"Yes, I remember that," blushed the wife feeling ashamed that she had been short with him just now.

"Well, I'm in the bar next to that jewelry store," he said.

I wish all of you a blessed Christmas! My featured cook this week is my friend, Becky Frese, of Greycliff, Montana. Thanks, Becky!

Holiday Fruit Cookies:

1/2 C. shortening

1 C. brown sugar

1 egg

2 C. flour

1/2 t. salt

1/2 t. soda

1/4 C. thick sour milk

3/4 C. chopped nuts

2 C. fruitcake mix

Cream shortening and sugar. Add egg, dry ingredients and milk. (Note to sour milk, use 1 T. vinegar or lemon juice to 1 C. milk) Mix well. Add fruit and nuts. Drop by spoonful on a greased cookie sheet and bake 8 to 10 min at 400 degrees. (Becky recommends cooking them for 8 minutes and letting them set a few minutes before transferring them to a cooling rack to keep them more moist and soft.)

Mexican Wedding Cakes:

1 C. butter

1/2 C. confectioners sugar

1 t. vanilla

2 1/4 C. flour

1/4 t. salt

3/4 C chopped nuts

Mix butter, sugar, and vanilla. Add flour, salt, and nuts. Roll into one inch balls. Bake at 400 degrees for 10 to 12 minutes. Roll in powdered sugar while still warm. Cool and roll again in the powdered sugar.

Caramels:

1 C. sugar

1/4 t. salt

3/4 C. white Karo syrup

11/2 C. cream adding 1/2 cup at a time

1 t. vanilla

1/2 C. chopped nuts

Mix sugar, salt, and syrup. Add 1/2 C. cream and cook over medium heat until it thickens. Add another 1/2 cup of cream, cook, and then add the rest of the cream, and cook until it forms a hard ball. Remove from heat and add nuts and vanilla. Cool completely. (If you want chocolate caramel, add 1/2 C. cocoa with the sugar.)